Torii Hunter Is Getting Better At Twitter

Angels outfielder and all-around-good-guy Torii Hunter has been on Twitter for a while now (@ToriiHunter48) but he finally seems to be getting the hang of it. While he isn't going to be as controversial or fan friendly as the great Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins), Hunter appears to be posting more on the social network and he's finally sharing the good stuff. After the Angels split a rather disappointing four game series with the Mariners, Hunter settled in for the plane ride home and had this to share...


Kendrick is quietly enjoying the best season of his career with a .297/.351/.467 line and personal bests 14 home runs and a 5.3 fWAR (Fangraphs wins above replacement). And he might be closing in on a career high HSIM (hot sauce in mouth). But he seems to be upbeat about it...


Zing!


Oh no he din't. I kid but this exchange is actually funnier than any "My Wife and Kids" episode you're watching on ABC Family right now.

Scorpions To Make A Move?

With the news that 50-year old Howard Johnson was coming out of retirement to play for the Rockland Boulders of the Independent Can-Am League, the Yuma Scorpions of the North American Baseball League, led by player-manager Jose Canseco, are expected to make a move.

Offbase received an official transcript from inside the Scorpions war room where Canseco, his brother Ozzie, a photograph of Robert Redford and an imaginary canary named Bernie were meeting to discuss a counter move to the Boulders' signing of Johnson.

[6:51 p.m. MST]

Jose - OK. Listen, Rockland got Johnson. What do we do?

Ozzie - Is....

Jose (interrupting) - Wait, shut up! Is Tom Brunansky available?

Ozzie, speaking as the photograph of Robert Redford - Last I heard he was playing for the Covington Sparrows.

Jose - What league do they play in?

Ozzie/Redford photo - I made them up.

Jose - OK, photo of Robert Redford, could you please step outside the room for five minutes?

[Ozzie places photo on the floor outside the door. Closes door.]

Thank you.

Ozzie - Wait a minute, I think I've got it: Alou.

Jose - Moises?! That's great. He could play left field and...

Ozzie (interrupting) - No, Felipe Alou.

Jose - Felipe. (thinking). Let's send a scout to wherever he's playing tomorrow night.

Ozzie - Well, he retired in 1974, but I think if we tell him about all Yuma has to offer, he'd be up for taking a pay cut to be the fourth outfielder.

Jose - What does Yuma have to offer?

Ozzie - That Chinese restaurant that gives you extra orange slices.

Jose - OK, good. Who else?

Ozzie - F.P. Santangelo?

[Everyone laughs]

Jose - Seriously, though: any other suggestions?

Bernie the canary (whispering in Jose's ear) - What about Howard Johnson?

Jose - I like it, I like it a lot. Is he signed with anyone?

Ozzie - Rumor is he signed with the Rockland Boulders.

Jose - What if we try to lure Johnson away from Rockland?

Ozzie - Well, he signed with the team mainly so he could play with his son.

Jose - OK, so we tell Johnson that his son actually plays for Yuma. Then we get the son AND we get Howard Johnson!

Ozzie/Redford photo - Maybe the team is fine the way it is.

Jose - That's it, photograph of Robert Redford, you're on the bench tonight!


Editor's note: Bernie the canary flew out of an open window, Jose canceled batting practice and then tried to hail a taxi to the sun.


[Transcript ends.]

Baby Giraffe Meets Brandon Belt, Or Vice Versa

In a story so sickeningly adorable I actually threw up in a pink Red Sox hat, Brandon Belt recently took pictures with the baby giraffe named after him. While the Giants rookie first baseman isn't enjoying the ROY caliber season many of us expected, Belt did become the recipient of a nickname spreading in popularity just as quickly as teammate Pablo Sandoval's "Kung-Fu Panda" did. Announcer Duane Kuiper bestowed the nickname "Baby Giraffe" upon Belt due to his, let's say, lack of grace in the outfield.

The fans like it and so does Six Flags Animal Kingdom which named a giraffe born last Friday after the Giant. The giraffe Brandon, 6'2, is already closing in on the real Brandon, 6'5. All right, get ready to be nauseated by cuteness. Here are the pictures of the two meeting thanks to The Veteran and the Rook blog...


Brandon explaining,"Opulence, I has it."


Baby Giraffe caught looking at an 0-2 off speed pitch.


Tim Lincecum is going to be so pissed Brandon Belt fed that to a giraffe.

HoJo Coming Out Of Retirement, Finally

In 1995, Howard Johnson posted a .195/.330/.355 line for the Chicago Cubs during his final season in the majors. But HoJo, ever the career baseball man/hotel chain, remained in the game in some capacity until earlier this year when the Mets dumped him as their hitting coach. Instead of trying to further his coaching career, the former Met star will man first base for the Rockland Boulders of the Independent Can-Am League.

Before you think Johnson, a ripe 50-years-old, is just another delusional former big leaguer clinging to his past *cough*JoseCanseco*cough*and*cough*youtooTonyPhillips*cough*, HoJo has a good excuse for signing an independent league contract. He will be suiting up to play along side his son, Glen...

"The most exciting thing is I get a chance to do something most dads never get a chance to do," Johnson said Tuesday night in a phone interview. "But I really just hope that I make contact."

Ah see, that's a nice story and I'm rooting for the father-son teammates. The closest my dad and I ever came to participating in a sporting event together was when I pitched in $20 for a box trifecta in the Kentucky Derby. It would have taken longer to just burn that money.

HoJo spent 14 years in the majors, most notably with the Mets from 1985-1993. He won a World Series with the Tigers in 1984 logging one pinch hit at bat and then again in 1986 with Mets also without providing much help. In 1989, he hit 36 home runs and a .287/.369/.559 line good for a career peak 7.3 fWAR.

Joe Nathan Flexed Veto Power

Joe Nathan was offered the Jim Thome way out of Minnesota Tuesday night but the Twins closer exercised his 10-and-5 (10 years of MLB service, five years with the same team) rights to stay put. Finding themselves 18 games out of the AL Central race, the Twins were nice enough to offer the escape option to Nathan and Thome. Thome was claimed on waivers by the Indians and, after waiving his no trade clause, was traded to Cleveland who is adorably still pretending to be a contender. Nathan, on the other hand, was given 30 minutes or less to decide if he would welcome a trade...

"The tough part was the timing," Nathan said. "They came to me with 30 minutes left until the deadline."

snip

"It seemed the smart decision for us to say we're not going to waive [the 10-and-5 rights]," Nathan said. "It's nice to be here and have a chance to possibly be with this club again next year. We'll see what that brings."

While the Twins were able to pass Nathan through waivers in early August, the team denied they were in trade talks about the 36-year-old reliever. I'm sure the Angels would have balked at any asking price for Nathan but surely the Giants (injured Brian Wilson) or Rangers (collecting arms like it's the Cold War) would have shown some interest.

Instead, Nathan will remain in Minnesota presumably because the Target Field walleye-on-a-stick is the bomb, yo. Nathan has a $12.5 million club option for 2012 that will get bought out for $2 million unless the two sides can come to another agreement.

Nathan is under two years removed from Tommy John surgery but is on the wrong side of 35-years-old unless he has presidential aspirations. Nathan's 5.02/4.55/4.21 (ERA/FIP/xFIP) pitching line isn't inspiring a lot of confidence even if this is his first season back from the TJ. He showed some promise in June only allowing one earned run in 11.1 innings but coughed up six in August over nine innings.

Maybe next year will be a nice rebound for him and the Twins. Or not. One thing is certain though. You can buy deep fried fish on a stick at every home game.

Curveballs for Jobu 8/31/11

Curveballs for Jobu is the daily trip around the ballparks Offbasepercentage keeps forgetting to take.

Today's honorary bat boy is Jody Davis.


[Davis' autographed 1988 Fleer. Estimated value: 11 Pop Tart crumbs]



Yankees 5, Redsox 2. This series started, I don't know if you heard anything about it, but New York pulled to within a half game of Boston behind a gutsy (excruciating) six innings from C.C. Sabathia, who gave up a ton of base-runners but got big outs when he needed to. Frankie Cervelli crushed a home run off the Ugliest Man on Earth™ and provided his usual assortment of fist pumps. Also: big work from the bullpen by Boone Logan, Rafael Soriano and Momar-2 2/3 IP, 2 H, and the play of the day was Brett Gardner's running catch on Marco Scutaro's fly ball in the 8th, which if not caught could've caused problems. Instead, I slow-danced with a loaf of bread when he made the catch.

Tigers 2, Royals 1 (10). Tied in the 10th and need a big hit? Let Ramon Santiago playa' hate. The Detroit second baseman hit a walk-off home run against Aaron Crow to keep the Tigers five up in the Central.

Marlins 6, Mets 0. Javier Vazquez picked up his 2,500th strike out in his win over the Mets. Marlins fans making the trip to New York for the game had plenty to say about the milestone:

Indians 6, Athletics 2. Fantasy Watch-Lou Marson: 1-for-3, run scored.

Cardinals 2, Brewers 1. Edwin Jackson pitched seven innings of one-run ball and singled in the go-ahead run to lead St. Louis. Unfortunately for the Cards, still 9 1/2 back in the NL Central, their petition to have the regular season extended to 185 games was denied.

Astros 8, Pirates 2. Angel Sanchez: DNP

Nationals 9, Braves 2. Livan Hernandez continues to make all 54-year old men look bad, as he pitched seven innings of two-run ball to win his 8th game. As for the NL Wild Card-leading Braves, three of Jair Jurrjens' last four starts: 17 IP, 16 ER. Those starts came against Washington, twice, and San Francisco, which actually doesn't even have an offense any more, they just send up cardboard cut outs of Willie McCovey in different poses.

Phillies 9, Reds 0. Raul Ibanez hit a home run!




Other games, but down here....

Diamondbacks 9, Rockies 4
Orioles 6, Bluejays 5 (10)
Whitesox 8, Twins 6
Rangers 2, Devilrays 0
Dodgers 8, Padres 5
Angels 13, Mariners 6
Cubs 5, Giants 2

Mike Trout Had An Eventful Day

On Tuesday, the Angels announced they will send baseball wunderkind Mike Trout to play in the Arizona Fall League after their season concludes. This wasn't surprising news as many of the game's top prospects extend their season by playing in the AFL but Trout's destination added to the anticipation. Trout will be roaming the same Scottsdale Scorpions outfield as fellow phenom Bryce Harper giving the defending AFL champions the top two prospects in baseball. While the news is exciting, it was Trout's play on Tuesday night that left me breathing into a paper bag.

Trout got one of his occasional starts against Seattle Mariners southpaw Anthony Vasquez and made the most of it. In the second inning, Trout crushed a 3-2 changeup 408 feet for a solo home run and followed that up by hitting an outside curve out of the park for a three-run home run in the fourth inning. His next plate appearance wasn't nearly as dramatic as he drew a bases-loaded walk for his fifth RBI of the night.

Since being recalled from Double-A, Trout has only been able to rack up 25 plate appearances and Angels fans are clamoring for more. Albeit a very small sample size, Trout is hitting .409/.480/1.000 with four home runs during his second tour of the majors. Unfortunately for Trout, Vernon Wells is hitting .400/.471/.700 over the same stretch in an attempt to dissuade management from euthanizing him.

Of course, Trout's hot hitting could force the Angels hand as they desperately need an offensive spark down the stretch. The Angels remain 3.5 games behind the Rangers with about a month to go. If Trout stays hot and can somehow carry the Angels to the postseason, his name will likely be one of the first removed from AFL participation.

Either way, I have a fever and there's only one cure for it. More Mike Trout.

Nelson Cruz And Hamstring At Odds Again

The Rangers managed to batter Angels' co-aces Dan Haren and Jered Weaver over the weekend to reclaim a three game lead over their division foes but didn't escape the series unscathed. Outfielder Nelson Cruz pulled up lame on the basepath Sunday night and left the game. Cruz, playing in his 113th game of the season, was getting dangerously close to his career high 128 games played set in 2009 and his disgruntled hamstring had had enough of that nonsense.

Cruz and his hamstring have been mired in many domestic disputes for years now presumably over the choices the former has made about couches for their Texas abode. There's also the matter of running which Cruz's hamstring is adamantly against and was disappointed it had to bring it up again. Nevertheless, Cruz forced the issue on Sunday after he tried to stretch a hit into a double and his hamstring responded by tightening up as if it was preparing for prison rape.

After some tests, it appears Cruz will miss three weeks with the strain and was injected with platelet-rich plasma to speed the recovery. When reached for comment, Cruz's hamstring yelled out a few obscenities and blamed "Two and a Half Men" creator Chuck Lorre for ruining its acting career. Doctors explained the hamstring was suffering from exhaustion and was heavily doped up by the plasma.

With 28 home runs, Cruz was close to topping his career high 33 in 2009 but the .270/.322/.531 line wasn't exactly stacking up to his .318/.374/.576 production from last year when his hamstring was rumored to be involved in a torrid love affair with Khloe Kardashian.