Curveballs for Jobu is the trip around the ballparks Offbasepercentage keeps forgetting to take.
Today's honorary bat boy is Kiko Garcia.
[Kiko Garcia autographed 1982 Donruss. Estimated value: 24 cat hairs]
Braves 3, Cubs 0. Jair Jurrjens allowed 13 base-runners, but no runs because the Cubs stink. Jurrjens was helped by rookie Freddie Freeman and Dan Uggla, who each hit a solo home run. Have you seen Uggla's arms? They look like my arms in that dream I had the other night when the I rode a bear around solving the townspeople's problems. I had a patch of a head of lettuce on my chest, but that's the part of the dream I didn't really understand.
Orioles 4, Twins 1. Carl Pavano: 7 IP, 9 H, 4 ER, LOSS. Just 27 more bad starts and I can move on from the New York Carl Pavano Era. We're almost there.
Phillies 10, Mets 0. Cliff Lee pitched seven shut out innings, yes, but here at Jobu we're more about the guys who give off a distinct odor while on the mound. Dillon Gee? He smelled like Cecil Fielder's undershirt after an August day game in Texas. Gee walked six and allowed eight runs in 3 2/3 innings, putting the Backmans in an 8-0 hole after just four innings. That's not going to win you any of Lenny Dykstra's licorice. Ross Gload: 0-for-1.
Tigers 5, Devilrays 2. Justin Verlander gave up a lead off home run to Matt Joyce and just two hits after that in winning his seventh consecutive decision.
Mariners 3, Indians 2. Chance Ruffin didn't let having the first name of Chance hold him down as the right-hander picked up his first major league win with a scoreless eighth. Seattle won it a half inning later on Franklin Gutierrez's sacrifice fly. Casper Wells Watch: 1-for-3, run scored.
Rangers 4, Redsox 0. I'm always a fan of new Boston players failing, so Monday's 6 IP, 4 ER performance by Erik Bedard was a pleasant experience for me. And for Vinny in Jersey.
Other games, but down here.....
Milwaukee 8-2, Pittsburgh 1-9
Nationals 4, Diamondbacks 1
Dodgers 2, Cardinals 1
Rockies 9 Astros 5