Sunday, July 4, 2010

Curtis Granderson's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

Well, well. Happy Fourth of July to me. Curtis Granderson went 0-5 with 4 strikeouts. But it kind of feels weird handing out a giant golden Mexican hat on our Independence Day. I tried to think of a way to Americanize the Sombrero for the Fourth of July but Golden Hat That Holds Two Cans Of Beer seemed a little long.

I really like Curtis Granderson the person. He writes a blog and he seems like a genuinely nice guy. Curtis Granderson the player is nothing more than a platoon player. He can't hit lefties a lick. Let's see if that mattered today.

Bottom 2nd: Granderson struck out swinging against the northpaw Brandon Morrow. My friend Jenny asked me why they call lefties "southpaws" and I said because it sounds cooler (I know the real answer, dont email me). She then coined the phrase "northpaw" for right handers which I am now stealing and trademarking. Northpaw™ See? It's mine now. I plan on making tens of dollars off of that somehow.

Bottom 6th: Granderson struck out swinging against northpaw™ Morrow again. Catchy isn't it?

Bottom 8th: Granderson struck out swinging against southpaw Scott Downs. 3 pitches. Dude can't hit lefties.

Bottom 10th: Granderson struck out swinging against southpaw David Purcey.

Recap: Granderson struck out swinging twice against lefties and twice against righties, proving nothing. Except that maybe he's just not a very good hitter. Or he just had a bad day. What do I know? I'm drunk off of hot dogs and liquor.

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