Mike Trout Is Changing His Phone Number

Future Hall of Famer and current Angels prospect Mike Trout caught his first dose of pranking on Monday. While some of the details are being kept under wraps, it appears that Trout broke an unwritten rule during the morning meetings and was punished accordingly.

After the top of the first inning of Monday’s game between the Angels and A’s, Trout’s phone number was splashed all over the scoreboard at Tempe Diablo Stadium with an invitation.

“Fans call Angels’ Mike Trout directly with your baseball questions,” said the message which was repeated several times throughout the game.

Unfortunately, I don't know any of the 2,822 attendees so I wasn't privy to Trout's digits. And I had some hard hitting questions for him like "Why are you so awesome?" and "Do they still make panzarottis in New Jersey?"

Trout apparently crossed a "no speaking unless spoken to" rule during a bout of Mike Scioscia team building exercises. It seems the offended party was staff ace Jered Weaver...

“Weave got him good,” Angels outfielder Peter Bourjos said, Trout admonishing from across the room not to give away too much — “Outfielders stick together,” Trout pleaded.

The 19-year-old Trout probably won't crack the big league roster unless he gets a cup of coffee in September. So the real rookie hazing won't get super ridiculous until next March.

Side note: Baseball Prospectus 2011 Almanac has Mickey Mantle listed as one of Trout's comparables. So, he's got that going for him.

The Sky Is Falling: Chase Utley

I think it has become fairly well documented across the Interwebs that I am a bit of a Chase Utley supporter, even though I think some of the language in the restraining order paints an unfair picture of me. So imagine the immediate dismay that washed over me when I heard the Phillies' second baseman was already experiencing tendinitis in his knee. Utley, the consummate professional, believes this is just a minor blip...

Utley said yesterday that surgery has not even been discussed as an option. In fact, Utley said, he has played through worse pain during his career. If the Phillies were in the middle of the regular season instead of at the beginning of the Grapefruit League slate, he said he would be in the lineup.

"I hope it's just a minor blip," Utley said. "I think we have the right people checking it out. I think the work ethic is going to be there in terms of trying to improve it. So in that aspect I think it's all good."

Utley was derailed from another potential 7 WAR season in 2010 when thumb surgery wiped out his July and half of August. With any luck, rest and rehab will take care of this bout with tendinitis and Utley will have a healthy 2011. I'm not sure I'm emotionally stable enough to survive an injury plagued season or, god forbid, the beginning of the steep second baseman decline. Luckily, Dave Cameron doesn't seem to think Utley will fall to the same fate as Roberto Alomar or Ryne Sandberg.

PECOTA projects a healthy Utley to be the best second baseman in baseball for 2011 and worth over a full win more than Robinson Cano (4.7-3.4). But 40 points of OBP and a run's worth of defense will do that. Even with a clean bill of health, my championing of an Utley MVP seems almost futile now.

As much as it pains me to say, it might be time to turn my lack-of-MVP-consideration fascination to Ryan Zimmerman.

Basking In Carl Everett's Insanity

With Jose Guillen potentially retiring and Carlos Zambrano allegedly cured, I'm legitimately worried about the state of crazy in baseball. Instead of fretting over the state of future lunatics in MLB though, I decided to reminisce about the greatest of them all.

*E! True Hollywood Story Voice*
Carl Everett lettered in football, baseball and track as a high schooler in Tampa. In 1990, the Yankees would make Everett the 10th pick overall in the amateur draft but he would later be claimed by the Marlins in the 1992 expansion draft. He would debut for the Marlins in 1993 but, little did people know, he was hiding a dark secret. Everett never learned how to ride a bike. Wait, that's not it. He's batshit crazy. That was the secret.

Everett had a decent 14-year career hitting 202 home runs and a .271/.341/.462 line. He played for eight major league teams in 14 seasons because he was better known for screaming profanities at the media and manhole covers than he was for his hitting. Let's go to the highlights...

Dinosaurs

"God created the sun, the stars, the heavens and the earth, and then made Adam and Eve," Everett said last Friday, before the Red Sox lost two of three in Atlanta. "The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus rex."

This led to the nicknames "Jurassic Carl", "Truthasauras" and "C-Rex." He also doubted the legitimacy of both The Flintstones and The Jetsons. He was particularly disgruntled with the latter proclaiming,"I ain't never seen no toaster that could talk and vacuum."[citation needed]

What about dinosaur bones?

"Made by man," he says.

I'd pay one full year of tuition to sit in a lecture hall and take notes while Everett teaches this great dinosaur conspiracy. I'm dying to know who started it, why and how it was funded.

Man on the Moon

After first rejecting the notion, he concedes, "Yeah, that could have happened. It's possible. That is something you could prove. You can't prove dinosaurs ever existed. I feel it's far-fetched."

He also has some pretty strong opinions on the whole "Grassy Knoll" thing. Mainly that JFK never existed.

Derek Jeter

"Not a star."

Even in 2000 this wasn't true. But yes, I was hoping for something prescient about Jeter's defense so I could pretend like Everett was some kind of oracle and we would, in fact, find out dinosaurs were just a Christian ruse.

Homosexuals

"Gays being gay is wrong. Two women can't produce a baby, two men can't produce a baby, so it's not how it's supposed to be. ... I don't believe in gay marriages. I don't believe in being gay."

In turn, he doesn't believe in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, New Hampshire, Vermont or Washington D.C. either.

Jose Canseco

Jose Canseco is a "bitter, ignorant individual."

Well, even a blind squirrel...

We're hoping Carl Everett's insanity will live on in the form of @madcarleverett while the real Everett plays independent league baseball and has lively debates with pine cones.

Carlos Zambrano Is Cured Of Crazy?

Say it ain't so, Big Z. The days of Carlos Zambrano blowing up at teammates, pucnhing inanimate objects and cursing at clouds may be behind us. At least, according to Zambrano anyway...

Zambrano said Tuesday he completed three months of anger management counseling last October, and that it's no longer an issue with him.

"It's all done," he said with a grin. "I'm cured."

*snip*

And did the counseling work?

"Yes, it did," he said. "That was an experience that I can talk (about) through the years. Maybe in the future I can be a pitching coach and speak to the young kids about what I went through, what happened in my career, things that I experienced."

While this is sad news for bloggers obsessed with lunatics *high fives Canseco poster*, it's easier said than done. After his suspension, anger management and bullpen demotion, Zambrano returned to the Cubs' rotation and pitched 70.1 innings of 1.41 ERA baseball. So sure, he's feeling pretty good about himself right now.

Give it time. As a professional skeptic, I'm not willing to believe he's cured until he pitches a two-inning, eight earned game or gets some bubble gum that doesn't chew right. I'll admit that his reaction to getting his six year opening day starter streak snapped is a positive sign for his mental health. But the crazy usually doesn't lie dormant for long, does it Milton Bradley?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm working on a Bad News Bears style screenplay featuring Zambrano as a pitching coach. The working title is You Call That a Fastball, No Wonder Your Dad Left.

Soria Looks To Replace Mexicutioner Nickname

Royals closer extraordinaire Joakim Soria made a request (on Twitter, where else?) for a nickname change from the awesome "Mexicutioner" to something more positive. While I doubt people are confusing Soria with some drug kingpin's genocidal assassin, his reasoning for the nickname change is rather noble...

Statistics also show a sharp escalation in the murders. Mexican authorities estimate the death count last year topped 15,000.

“It is sad when you see your country like that,” Soria said, “and that nickname is a negative to the kids in Mexico. There’s too much violence. It’s really bad.

“I know I can’t really do anything about it, but the mind-set needs to change. People follow me in Mexico.”

Soria believes that when people in Mexico see the nickname on TV that "it's a bad thing." Okay, fine. I just don't think nicknames are that persuasive. When Mark McGwire was crushing homers, I didn't go out and add 50 pounds by eating McDonald's. Soria doesn't even really seem to want a nickname anyway...

Soria has no preference for a new nickname; he is only lukewarm, in fact, to the idea of one.

“I never compare myself to Mariano (Rivera) and Trevor Hoffman,” he said, “but they don’t have a nickname. The only name that matters for Mariano is Mariano. He doesn’t need a nickname.

“I don’t compare to him, but I want to follow him in the way he has a great career.”

Well, Mo does, in fact, have one of the greatest nicknames in the history of baseball. Unless we stopped referring to him as "The Hammer of God" and I never got the memo.

All right, let's see what we can do about a new nickname.

"The Meximelt"
"Chalupa Supreme"
"Volcano Burrito"
"Baja Gordita"
"Crunchwrap"
"Caramel Apple Empanada"
"Diet Pepsi"

*This post was sponsored by Taco Bell. I'm finding new ways to sell out everyday*

Hunter Pence Wins $6.9M In Arbitration

Hunter Pence just about doubled his 2010 salary after winning his arbitration case against the Astros. Pence is basically the NL version of Nick Markakis with more power and less OBP. But Markakis got the "face of the franchise" contract from the Orioles while the Astros seem content taking Pence to arbitration. Even if Pence's patience at the plate is a little disconcerting, he is the one constant that the Astros can count on during their current state of futility.

Pence, who will turn 28 this season, didn't seemed fazed by going to the hearing.

Rightfully so, I guess, since he won even though Paul Swydan from Fangraphs doubted his chances. Bill James has Pence pegged for 26 home runs and a .285/.339/.484 line which would put him around a 3.5 WAR player for 2011. That production is worth more than the $6.9 million Houston will be paying him.

The question is what will the Astros do with Pence. They can take him to arbitration again in 2012 and 2013 when they still won't be very competitive. Would signing him to a five year deal and hoping other pieces fall into place be the best bet? Or would it be better to keep going to arbitration and maybe trading him off at some point be the better route?

At this point, I'm guessing the Astros choose whichever option doesn't pan out in their best interest.

Brandon Wood Turns To Yankees For Help

Brandon Wood was finally given the keys to third base by the Angels in 2010 and he crashed that thing into an elementary school. I think a case could be made that Wood's 2010 season was a more tragic event than the Chilean miners getting trapped. They at least got ice cream. Wood posted a .146/.174/.208 line in 243 plate appearances and had more than a few at bats that brought tears to my eyes.

Wood was awful in every aspect of hitting. He walked at a 2.5% clip and struck out over 30% of the time. So Wood turned to Yankees hitting instructor Kevin Long for some help...

"He's an Arizona guy who gave me some encouragement last year, who I got to know through small talk, and I wanted to hear his philosophy on hitting," Wood said of Long. "Hitting is like golf. How many ways can you do it and be successful? There’s a lot of different ways; you have to find the one that works for you."

Wood, in camp for the Angels' first full-squad workout Saturday but slowed by a minor back injury, incorporated some of Long's suggestions into his winter batting-practice sessions and said he has a much better feel for his swing.

As an Angels fan, I don't care if Wood turned to the Yankees, Jobu, Yoda or the Batting Stance Guy for help as long as it produces even a modicum of success in 2011. I don't have high hopes though. It's sad to think that a 2011 breakout performance for a major leaguer would be hoping he improves to a .280 OBP.

MLB 2K11 Official Trailer

This post is rather self explanatory. MLB 2K11 released its official trailer and the game looks pretty damn good. Of course, the most frequently played video games by the Off Base crew include Sega Genesis hockey, RBI Baseball and Wii bowling. So the graphics alone kinda freak us out. See for yourself...



My favorite highlight is Chris Coghlan making an error in the outfield. Unfortunately for the Marlins, the guys at 2K Sports seem to be pretty prescient. I hope that's the case anyway because I'm pretty sure I saw Vernon Wells crush a homer for the Angels in that clip.

They'll also be running another $1,000,000 Perfect Game competition. If you're just now hearing about that from Off Base and win, you owe us 12.5% of your winnings. Check the fine print, my attorney got his degree from one of the finest online universities in Eastern Europe.