The Lake Erie LeBrons

Minor league baseball is just plain fun. Thirsty Thursdays, Keg Stand Sundays, Fall Down Drunk Fridays. It's generally a good excuse to stop drinking and get out of the tub to go drinking. They also come up with some of the wackiest promotions this side of Bill Veeck*. The Lake Erie Crushers are doing their part to keep basketball's Stephen Strasburg equivalent, LeBron James, in town during the "Keep LBJ in the C-L-E Night" promotion next week...

The Crushers will wear Cavaliers-themed jerseys June 30 and each player will wear No. 6 to honor James' switch from No. 23. The team is renaming its park LeBron James Field at All Pro Freight Stadium for the game. Anyone named LeBron gets free tickets.

But there's more! The Crushers are prepared to offer LeBron a league maximum contract worth $1600 per week. The contract also comes with a host family like in the movie Sugar. They'll teach him English and cook him breakfast.

Wait. Anyone named LeBron gets in for free? That's just fantastic. The ghost of Bill Veeck has to be behind this. Are there going to be midgets too?

*Crucial Bill Veeck quotes.

"What can I do, I asked myself, that is so spectacular that no one will be able to say he had seen it before? The answer was perfectly obvious. I would send a midget up to bat."

"There are only two seasons - winter and Baseball."

"I try not to kid myself. You know, I don't mind romancing someone else, but to fool yourself is pretty devastating and dangerous."

When I start the Off Base book club, Veeck - As In Wreck might be the first one up.

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Off Base Percentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy: Bill Doran



Whitesox 6, Nationals 3. Lost in the Strasburg mania this weekend was the realization that Washington is managed by Jim Riggleman and therefore stinks. That's six consecutive Rigglemans and eight Rigglemans out of nine for the Nats. Chicago got seven innings of three-run ball from Freddy Garcia, and with John Danks and Jake Peavy and Mark Buehrle looking better with each start, the Palehose are legitimate contenders in the Central. Unless of course Ozzie Guillen keeps playing Smart Ball, then Chicago is screwed.



Twins 4, Phillies 1. Blog enemy Carl Pavano pitched 45 2/3 innings in his two seasons with the Yankees. Sunday for Minnesota he pitched nine, nearly 20% of his total innings in two full seasons in New York. If I ever see Carl Pavano in person, I will lob a sock full of mustard at him and laugh from a secure location.

Mariners 1, Reds 0. Ryan Rowland-Smith pitched six shutout innings for his first win of the season, but the real story continues to be Arthur Rhodes. Forget small sample sizes, Rhodes is 40 and in 30 2/3 innings has allowed one earned run and 25 base runners (0.29 ERA, 0.81 WHIP). He also pitched in three different post-seasons on teams that were eliminated by the Yankees. That made me feel better after the Pavano stuff.

Rangers 5, Astros 4. Are families in the state of Texas divided over the Texas-Houston baseball rivalry? Has interleague play lost the luster it never really had in the first place? Will the Astros win 55 games? If Texas wins the AL West and no one cares, did it really happen? For more of Questions No One Is Asking, tune in to Jobu June 26 for our next Astros-Rangers recap.

Tampa Bay to Make "Important Announcement" Monday

You can imagine my surprise and delight when MTD sent this link to my mailbox. Tampa Bay principal owner Stuart Sternberg on Monday will make "an important announcement regarding the future of the Rays franchise" at a 12:15 p.m. press conference at Tropicana Field. That's the press release; no other information given. I hope Sternberg realizes neither Yankees or Redsox players have been invited to attend the press conference so he should expect a far-less-than-capacity crowd.

Such a vague announcement forces me to come up with my own list of possibilities:

"Brent Abernathy's No. 3 jersey will be retired before the June 25 game against Arizona."

"Kelly Shoppach Bobblehead Day has been moved to August 5."

"The legendary 2002 Devilrays will be honored before the July 26 game against Detroit. Special slide show presentation: All of Manager Hal McRae's 55 wins."

"Greg Vaughn has been signed to a six-year, $60 million contract."

"Catwalk seats above home plate now just $1."

"Each of Paul Sorrento's 133 strike outs from 1998 will be reprised in paintings and given to the first 133 media members who attended today's press conference."

"Vanilla Ice is the new lefty specialist out of the bullpen; July 9 concert cancelled."

"Esteban Yan's No. 43 jersey will be retired before the September 24 game against Seattle."

Fowler Ninth Minor Leaguer to Hit for Cycle

We're not just about the major leagues here at Offbase. From time to time, we'll work our way around the minor leagues and see if we can find another story about a hobo wandering on a warning track.

Rockies minor leaguer Dexter Fowler, who had a .363 on-base percentage and finished eighth in the NL Rookie of the Year voting in 2009, slumped early in the 2010 season for Colorado and was sent to AAA. Fowler's demotion was clearly Colorado Springs' gain.



Fowler-a .373 hitter in 20 minor league games for Colorado Springs-had one of his best days at the plate Sunday. In a 13-4 win over the Las Vegas 51s, Fowler hit the ninth cycle of the minor league season. Even more impressive was that Fowler accomplished the feat in just five innings, and he got the hard hits out of the way first:

First inning - solo home run
Second - two-run triple
Fourth - double
Fifth - single

A War Of Words

Sometimes baseball players don't like each other. Sometimes they attack each other through the media. Other times, Pedro Martinez shoves an old bench coach to the ground. This is one of those former times. Miguel Montero used to catch for Jose Valverde in 2007 and that was a long time ago. After Valverde struck out Montero Friday night, he did a leap of joy off of the mound. That sparked these words from Montero...

"He's a (bleeping) (bleep)," Montero told the Arizona Republic. "The way he acts, it's not right, you know"[Ed. - Pretty sure they were supposed to go question mark there, but what do I know"] You've got to be professional. I've always felt that way. And I've always told him. That's the way he is. I guess he thinks it's right. But I don't care."

It didn't take long for Valverde, ever the gentleman, to retort...

“Tell Montero he’s a freaking rookie and I can do whatever I want to,” Valverde said Sunday morning. “Tell him that. Put it in the papers. If he wants to do something, tell him to come to my locker and let me know.

“I never liked Montero,” he continued. “He’s a (bleeping) piece of (bleep).

“Tell Montero he has two years (in the majors) and I have eight.”

Those are some pretty bold words, sir. I'm also pretty sure Bud Selig disagrees with your opinion that you can do whatever you want. Go try to post some MLB clips on YouTube and see how far you get. And does Jose know what rookie means? This is Montero's fourth year in the majors or third full season. Let's see if Montero is any better with math...

“It doesn’t matter if he’s got eight years,” Montero said. “I don’t think he’s got eight years because he got sent down seven or eight times. That really doesn’t count. When you get sent down your major league service stops counting. He got called up in ’02 and he got sent down in ’02 and ’03 and ’04 and ’05 and ’06. I guess this year he was a free agent so that let me know he got six years. In four out of six years he’s given up 100 runs a year. He’s only had two good years in his career. So what? He’s still a (bleep) to me.”

I think someone spent a little time on Baseball-Reference before making that statement. Or Jose might want to look into a restraining order. I'm just sayin. Surely this wouldn't have been a problem if the Diamonbacks had signed him this offseason, right Miguel?

“I wouldn’t mind having him on my team, I’d just keep telling him he’s dumb,” Montero said.

Oh, you can work around that. I tell Derwood that almost on a daily basis.

Happy Father's Day!

As with every other major drinking holiday, I like to wish our readers a happy, in this case, Father's Day (where applicable). Neither Derwood nor myself are proud fathers unless you count this adorable little blog. In which case, I'd like to think of myself as the Greg Evigan to Derwood's Paul Riser in My Two Dads. *bangs gong*

I'd like to wish my dad a happy Father's Day but he doesn't like baseball and subsequently doesn't visit my site. Which is why I got him the same thing I got him last year, the cold shoulder. Just kidding, pops, love ya. I've never met Derwood's dad but he did get me tickets to a WWE Royal Rumble once. Amazing seats. So happy Father's Day, guy. We love ya, see what you can do about some MLB All Star tickets. Nobody is going to want to go to Kansas City in 2012.

Now let's take a look at some busy fathers in the history of today.

Travis Henry
The former Buffalo Bills running back probably isn't having as nice of a Father's Day as you. He's serving a 3 year sentence in federal prison for financing a cocaine trafficking ring. But he is going to get more Father's Day cards than you. Going into 2009 he had 9 different kids with 9 different women. *holds gun to the head of birth control* He had to ruin his streak in 2009 though when he had twins with a 10th woman. Recap: 11 children, 10 different mothers.

Antonio Cromartie
The 26-year-old cornerback was traded to the New York Jets this past offseason. Look out ladies in the New York/New Jersey/America area, Cromartie is here for two things: to intercept footballs and spread his seed and we're all out of footballs. He has at least 7 kids with 6 different women in 5 different states.

Shawn Kemp
Remember when Shawn Kemp was a force with the Seattle Super Sonics? Remember when Seattle had a basketball team? Neither do I but I have a short atten.. ooh Spaceballs is on. Going into 1998, Kemp had 7 kids with 6 different women. It's now believed he's up to 11 children with 9 different women.

Evander Holyfield
Holyfield is, unfortunately, best known for getting his ear bitten off by Mike Tyson. That really is a shame because that dude is super fertile. He has at least 11 children which only rivals his career concussions.

So to all you dads out there, happy Father's Day. Just be glad you don't have to go to Chili's 9 times today. A man can only eat so many mediocre hamburgers. Well, maybe not Shawn Kemp.

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Off Base Percentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy: Bobby Meachum



Twins 13, Phillies 10 (11). Minnesota trailed 9-4 heading to the ninth, but scored five to tie it. Joe Mauer's only hit of the game was a big one-a tying homer off Brad I'm Awesome No Wait My Career Is Done I'm Awesome Again Is My Career Really Over? I'm Pretty Good Again Oooohhh Hung One To Mauer Lidge. Drew Butera and Ross Gload traded solo home runs in the 10th. The 11th was all Twins as Delmon Young and someone named Matt Tolbert drove in the runs. As a whole, Lidge and fellow relievers Jose Contreras, Chad Durbin and Danys Baez were Simply Irabuian: 3 13 IP, 10 H, 9 ER, 3 HR.

Pirates 6, Indians 4. And that my friends is what a Pittsburgh Pirates baseball victory looks like. The Buccos snapped a 12-game losing streak, winning for the first time since June 5 (2010).



Orioles 5, Padres 4. That's two wins in four games On Baltimore's west coast trip, which ends today. With Kevin Millwood shaking off a three-run first by pitching five straight scoreless innings, for at least one day Baltimore avoided being relegated to the AAA International League in favor of first-place Durham.

Braves 5, Royals 4. I sat a bar with a Miller High Life and called Troy Glaus' walk-off home run in the bottom of the ninth. Ask this guy I know named Craig, he was standing right next to me. He said "you're spilling Miller High Life on my foot, jerk," right before I called Glaus' 14th home run that extended Atlanta's lead in the NL East to 1 1/2 games. Wilson Betemit: DNP.

Bluejays 3, Giants 0. Matt Cain and Toronto's Jesse Litsch matched penguin eggs for seven innings before the Bluejays got a two-run home from Aaron Hill in the eighth to help decided it. Cain, who has given up more than three earned runs once in 14 starts, deserved a better fate, but SF does employ Pat Burrell and bat him fifth so it's really their own fault. Litsch, who didn't get out of the third inning in a seven earned run-debacle at Colorado June 13, threw seven shutout innings and allowed just three base runners in his second start of the season.

Ryan Zimmerman's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

With all the strikeouts Stephen Strasburg has been racking up, the other face of the Nationals decided to get in on the act today. Ryan Zimmerman picked up a Golden Sombrero after striking out four times against the White Sox. This will probably be the only Sombrero I will get to hand out to the 25-year-old All Star third baseman this year so we'll have to make it special. While Zimmerman averages about 120 strikeouts over a full season, this is only his fourth career Golden Sombrero. He had one in each of 2006, 2007 and 2008.

In honor of Zimmerman's rare Sombrero, I've blended up some margaritas and put out the chips and salsa. Now let's all gather around and watch some pinata bloopers!



If you don't enjoy that, we can't be friends. Let's see how Zimmerman won that shiny, shiny hat.

Bottom 1st: Zimmerman struck out swinging against Jake Peavy. Remember when Jake Peavy was good? So did he today.

Bottom 3rd: Zimmerman struck out looking against Peavy. Maybe Peavy is just good against the National League.

Bottom 6th: Zimmerman struck out looking against Peavy. 3 pitches. Perhaps Peavy is just good against Ryan Zimmerman.

Bottom 9th: Zimmerman struck out looking against Peavy. 3 pitches. Oh okay, Peavy just owns Zimmerman. This is also an MTD Hat Trick (striking out 3 times, the same way, against the same pitcher). I haven't come up with a name for when a pitcher strikes out a batter 4 times in one game. I'm open to suggestions though. Comments?