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Monday, September 24, 2012

Josh Hamilton's Vision Problems Caused By Energy Drinks

Did you know Red Bull can make you go blind?!?

10 seconds. It took me 10 seconds to go from zero to hyperbole. Nice.

Okay, energy drinks might not make you go blind but their main ingredient, caffeine, is responsible for the vision problems Josh Hamilton has been suffering from since last Tuesday. Too much caffeine and energy drinks can cause ocular keratitis which something, something, dry cornea, something, something, burred vision.

Hamilton missed five straight games but returns to the line-up and center field Monday night. Somebody might want to hand Hamilton a cup of water once in a while. With well documented addiction problems, you have to wonder how many Red Bulls Hamilton was consuming every day to give him blurry vision. My guess is Sam's Club pallet. He might cut back to two cases a day after the diagnosis...
Hamilton, 31, said he plans to back off the caffeine, which included chocolate after games and an energy drink before games -- not to mention what he was consuming all day long.

"I was loading up on caffeine, and I'm out there in the bright lights," Hamilton said. "I can't control my eyes. They are stuck."
I feel like with this information we were robbed of a "Jose Canseco off-the-head-home-run" type of situation with Hamilton.

But a healthy Hamilton is good news for Angels fans. The Rangers play the Wild Card holding on to by 2.5 games A's seven times in the last 10 games. Hamilton's 42 home runs is also tied with Miguel Cabrera for the AL lead. Hamilton in home runs and Joe Mauer in batting average are the two candidates with the best chance of blocking Cabrera from the Triple Crown. If Cabrera wins the Triple Crown, it could very well sway the old school BBWAA members to rob Mike Trout of his rightful MVP. Of course, that is a long post for another day.

Kids, the point of this story is that too many Red Bulls and fudge bars will mess you up good. No more Red Bull and fudge parties. Get someone to buy you beer like normal high schoolers.

Legal notice: Off Base Percentage doesn't condone underage drinking but, if we did, we don't have any money for you to sue us anyway.

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