Curveballs for Jobu is the trip around the ballparks that Offbasepercentage keeps forgetting to take.
Today's honorary bat boy is Brook Fordyce.
Jobu last appeared on June 29, when candy was only five cents and the Astros had Mike Scott. Since that time, MTD has been on a journey trying to discover the true meaning of the third day after Christmas, while Derwood took up work as a traveling air guitar salesman.
Yankees 8, Twins 4. My first Jobu since May 3 and of course we lead off with the Yankees. But this game was more about the Twins. It's been an interesting year for Minnesota, for hilarious reasons: Carl Pavano stinks, and for historic reasons: James Thome recently hit his 600th home run. But Thursday may have been the most bizarre day of the season for the Hrbeks. Minnesota came to the park with no bench, and that's not me trying to make fun of the caliber of players on the bench, or suggesting that the players were forced to stand all game. The Twins did not have anyone available on the bench: Michael Cuddyer (neck), Denard Span (concussion symptoms), and Matt Tolbert (?) were all banged up with injuries and didn't play, Jason Kubel was away from the team for family reasons, and a person named Luke Hughes missed his flight from Triple-A Rochester because HE WAS AT THE WRONG GATE. That's like the time when I was supposed to fly to New York for a family reunion, but was at the wrong airport. It's not that Uncle Ralph was mad, he was just disappointed. Anyway, Hughes arrived just in time to strike out on three pitches in the ninth, and New York stayed a half game up on Boston in the AL East.
Dodgers 5, Brewers 1. How do you slow down a red-hot team? Let Rod Barajas playa hate. The LA catcher hit a solo home run in the second to get the Barajas (new word for "party") started and the Dodgers never trailed in preventing Milwaukee from completing a 7-0 home stand. Clayton Kershaw was pretty good, too, tossing eight shut out innings in winning his 15th game.
Nationals 3, Reds 1. Now, I've been away for quite a while, but I think I may know what's wrong with the Reds: Miguel Cairo is batting fifth. Anyway, Thursday belonged to Jesus Flores, who homered for the first time since May 8, 2009. You know who else homered that day? Chris Coste.
Indians 4, Whitesox 2. The return of KenHarrelsonVoice™!
"Well, the good guys came into Thursday's game hoping to pick up a half-sandwich on the idle Tiggers. Sox got a little bingo from Pauly in the third, you can put it on the boarrrrrd, yes! Attaboy Pauly. But the Tribe came right back with two in the fourth against Zach Stewart. Stewsie left one out over the plate and Matt Laporta put it on the boarrrrrd, no. Our Sox threatened in a couple innings, but couldn't push any peas across the dish. The good guys did strike out 13 bad guys: Jason Donald in the first, he gone! Shin-Soo Choo in the second, he gone! Carlos Santana in the ninth, he gone! Wimpy's pick to click, Juan Pierre, went 1-for-5."
Braves 1, Giants 0. Mike Minor (6 IP, 4 H, 9 K) and three relievers combined on a five-hitter as Atlanta won on Paul Runge bobblehead night.
Bluejays 7, Athletics 0. Actual announced attendance: 14.
Other games, but down here...
Padres 3, Marlins 1
Angels 2, Rangers 1
Phillies 4, Diamondbacks 1
Redsox 4, Royals 3