Today's honorary bat boy is Mike Lansing, MTD's ex-boyfriend.
Reds 7, Cubs 1. Jay Bruce capped off a nine-pitch at bat with a walk in the first inning, then saw six pitches in his next three at-bats and homered each time, contributing heavily to Another Horrifying Moment in the 2010 Cubs Season (brought to you by the 1990 New York Yankees).
Indians 15, Royals 4. Cleveland tagged KC starter Bryan Bullington for seven earned in four innings. That sound you heard was your old pal Derwood throwing up in an ankle sock.
Diamondbacks 6, Giants 0. Thursday, Ian Kennedy gave up one hit in eight dominant innings. Friday, a man called Barry Enright pitched seven shut out innings as Arizona handed Tim Lincecum his fifth consecutive loss.
Brewers 7, Pirates 2. Andy LaRoche: 0-for-3.