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Sunday, June 20, 2010

Tampa Bay to Make "Important Announcement" Monday

You can imagine my surprise and delight when MTD sent this link to my mailbox. Tampa Bay principal owner Stuart Sternberg on Monday will make "an important announcement regarding the future of the Rays franchise" at a 12:15 p.m. press conference at Tropicana Field. That's the press release; no other information given. I hope Sternberg realizes neither Yankees or Redsox players have been invited to attend the press conference so he should expect a far-less-than-capacity crowd.

Such a vague announcement forces me to come up with my own list of possibilities:

"Brent Abernathy's No. 3 jersey will be retired before the June 25 game against Arizona."

"Evan Longoria has been traded to the Mets for one of Omar Minaya's ankle socks."

"A statue, depicting Wade Boggs' slide into home after he homered for his 3,000th hit, will be placed at home plate for the remainder of the season."

"Kelly Shoppach Bobblehead Day has been moved to August 5."

"Orange juice dunk tanks have been placed in both bullpens."

"Nick Bierbrodt was one of the worst pitchers in franchise history."

"The legendary 2002 Devilrays will be honored before the July 26 game against Detroit. Special slide show presentation: All of Manager Hal McRae's 55 wins."

"Greg Vaughn has been signed to a six-year, $60 million contract."

"Catwalk seats above home plate now just $1."

"Tampa Bay superfan Dick Vitale has sold his eyebrows."

"Each of Paul Sorrento's 133 strike outs from 1998 will be reprised in paintings and given to the first 133 media members who attended today's press conference."

"Vanilla Ice is the new lefty specialist out of the bullpen; July 9 concert cancelled."

"Esteban Yan's No. 43 jersey will be retired before the September 24 game against Seattle."

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