Eric Byrnes is leading a charmed life after retiring at the ripe old age of 34. Oh yeah, and he's raking in that cool $11 million from the D-Backs during his first year of retirement. This is why I love Eric Byrnes. This is his typical Wednesday...
... Surf. (I'm told the waves have been good lately.)Yeah, that's right. Eric Byrnes is crushing two or three homers a night as a ringer for the Dutch Goose in a softball beer league. Not only is that awesome but then he says stuff like this...
... Play 18 holes.
... Pull on the uniform of the Dutch Goose and represent the venerable Menlo Park burger-and-beer joint in a slowpitch softball league.
... Read his daughter a bedtime story.
"Whether we go 0-for-4 or 4-for-4, the beer is still cold, and the burgers are still good.''Who wouldn't want to hang out with that guy? And the Dutch Goose would be silly if they don't start selling jerseys instead of just t-shirts. Don't get me wrong, I'm still getting a t-shirt.
Okay, but what happens if he gets bored from not working like many retirees do (a concept that boggles my mind)? No problem. He has a part time job selling mattresses at Home Plate Furnishings. Need a new ottoman? Go see Byrnsey down at Home Plate Furnishings. He might even get you a deal on a new bedroom suite. I like oak myself, that's what's in my bedroom. How 'bout you Jimmie, you an oak man?
So yeah, that's why I love Eric Byrnes. And I suppose he might even deserve a few extra cool points for marrying a Miss California.