Thursday, January 17, 2013

John Rocker On Gun Control


It should come as no surprise, but might, that some of your favorite MLB players are gun enthusiasts. Just FYI, in case you didn't notice the amount of good old boys on the playing field or the amount of injuries from falling down stairs carrying deer meat. What you don't hear too often is an MLBer choosing a tragic event like the Sandy Hook shooting as a time to voice his opinion on gun control. Luckily, someone gave former Braves closer/noted New York mass transit antogonist, John Rocker, his own column on World Net Daily. Wait, what?

Rocker played his last game on May 14, 2003 for Tampa Bay giving up one run on two hits and a walk. So let's recap a few important facts about the former relief pitcher before we move forward. In 1999, Rocker pitched 72.1 innings of 2.41 ERA ball with 38 saves and a 12.94 K/9 for the Braves. He had a career 5.78 BB/9 so the walks, like the strikeouts, came in bunches. He's "not a very big fan of foreigners" and imagines riding the 7 train sitting next to "some kid with purple hair next to some queer with AIDS right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids." But he's gone through sensitivity training to take care of most of that. Oh, one more thing, he "would vote for the devil himself over Barack Obama which would actually be tough though as he seems to already be a supporter." Okay, let's move on to his article about gun control...
Mr. Obama wants to severely neuter the Second Amendment and disarm the law-abiding citizens of this nation, a similar act of tyrants throughout the 20th century such as Stalin, Mao and Hitler.
Oh boy. This is the first sentence of the fifth-ish paragraph so he doesn't just do 0-60 in three seconds to compare Obama to Hitler. There's some stuff about the Hispanic vote and Oprah before it.
Absolute certainties are a rare thing in this life, but one I think can be collectively agreed upon is the undeniable fact that the Holocaust would have never taken place had the Jewish citizenry of Hitler’s Germany had the right to bear arms and defended themselves with those arms.
Hard to argue with absolute certanties and undeniable facts. That he made up. If Rocker had a time machine, he'd totally go back in time and kill Hitler. Think about how short lines would be without all of those foreingers who had to flee for their lives to the US. But what does Rocker think about what other people think?
Appearing on “Piers Morgan Tonight” with Piers Morgan, a British expatriate who serves as a 21st century version of a King George Redcoat championing the disarming of the American people, (Alex) Jones let him have it in a way that no individual from the GOP or the NRA – save the late, great Charlton Heston who is sorely needed now – has dared when confronting any mouthpiece for Obama’s gun-grab.

Here’s the main point of the conversation, with Jones telling Morgan, “The Second Amendment isn’t there for duck hunting, it’s there to protect us from tyrannical government and street thugs.”
Of course, Rocker is recapping the publicity stunt between Piers Morgan (Celebrity Apprentice, America's Got Talent) and Alex Jones (the titular character of that Tyer Perry movie?). Rocker sides with Jones.
Jones has the type of energy I like and, more importantly, that is desperately needed by patriotic Americans who are beginning to view the actions of the Obama administration as treasonous and the milquetoast response by the GOP as pedestrian.
Also, Jones yelled like a crazy person the loudest and that's how arguments are won. And come on, I have $50 that says "milquetoast" does not appear in the copy Rocker sent to his editor. I digress. Rocker goes on to tell a story about an Atlanta woman who shot an intruder.
Using a .38 revolver, Mrs. Herman protected her family and her property, performing that age-old American tradition of self-defense.
Good for Mrs. Herman and all the other musket-toting women the forefathers had in mind when they drew up the Second Amendment. Finally...
So to that sanctimonious Piers Morgan and those determined to disarm Americans – and yes, any form of gun control is only the initial first step toward total gun control – I say read the story coming from the suburbs of Atlanta and, if possible, allow the notion of why the Second Amendment is so important to the safety of Americans to circulate through your closed minds.
Closed minds, tyrannical government and street thugs? You'd think Rocker made enough money through baseball and real estate development to move out of that dystopian neighborhood. Or he has confused Hobo with a Shotgun for real life. Easy mistake.

I should be clear. I don't have a horse in the gun control race. This is not a political post. I am concerned about Mike Trout's 2013 WAR but it has little to do with firearms. This is more of a public service post. John Rocker has a political blog on a real website. I'll be in my panic room.

4 comments:

  1. No way Rocker wrote that. Not once did obligatory "from mah cold ded handz" line get used.

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. I just want my gun so I can shoot at the next stupid driver in my way on 75n...try and take it

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  4. oh and fuck you too

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