Chipper Jones Is Retired, Right?

Remember when Chipper Jones announced his plans to retire at the end of the 2012 season? Remember when Larry played in 112 games during the 2012 and hit an impressive .287/.377/.455 in 448 plate appearances as a 40-year-old? Remember how he was lavished with gifts ranging from third bases (Reds, Yankees, Pirates) to a bow hunting camera (Todd Helton) to a year's supply of sausages (Brewers) throughout the season? Then remember how he actually retired at the end of the season? Yeah, well, the baseball world has short term memory loss, at least according to a NY Post reporter tweeting about Jones' agent...

Chipper's agent BB Abbott said several teams have called on Chipper but #Yankees didnt. Wouldn't say which teams have. Staying retired, tho.

— Mark Hale (@HaleMark) January 7, 2013

Sure, the Yankees could use Jones as their own ungracefully aging third bagger Alex Rodriguez recovers from hip surgery (if he ever has it). But there are plenty of other teams who could use Jones as a 5/8 of the time third baseman. Had Jones qualified, he would have finished tied for 10th with Hanley Ramirez with a 3.0 fWAR at the position. With Ramirez back at short, the Dodgers might even be at the front of the line for Chipper's unavailable services. Of course, the Braves are looking to contend again this year and would, I assume, welcome Jones back with loving, open arms.

But barring a Brett Favre/every-rapper-ever wishy-washy comeback saga, Jones will remain retired to hunt and fish and tweet. And he appears to be enjoying the latter...

Man, this twitta thing is awesome!

— Chipper Jones (@RealCJ10) January 4, 2013

Which is good news for all of us if he keeps posting pics like this one...

What's wrong with this pic folks? Never said I was the sharpest tool in the shed. Damn ladder!!! Lol twitter.com/RealCJ10/statu…

— Chipper Jones (@RealCJ10) December 27, 2012

That's a festivus miracle/disaster if I've ever seen one. Sadly, there's been no update on the fate of that ladder.