Monday, January 7, 2013

Chipper Jones Is Retired, Right?

Remember when Chipper Jones announced his plans to retire at the end of the 2012 season? Remember when Larry played in 112 games during the 2012 and hit an impressive .287/.377/.455 in 448 plate appearances as a 40-year-old? Remember how he was lavished with gifts ranging from third bases (Reds, Yankees, Pirates) to a bow hunting camera (Todd Helton) to a year's supply of sausages (Brewers) throughout the season? Then remember how he actually retired at the end of the season? Yeah, well, the baseball world has short term memory loss, at least according to a NY Post reporter tweeting about Jones' agent...

Sure, the Yankees could use Jones as their own ungracefully aging third bagger Alex Rodriguez recovers from hip surgery (if he ever has it). But there are plenty of other teams who could use Jones as a 5/8 of the time third baseman. Had Jones qualified, he would have finished tied for 10th with Hanley Ramirez with a 3.0 fWAR at the position. With Ramirez back at short, the Dodgers might even be at the front of the line for Chipper's unavailable services. Of course, the Braves are looking to contend again this year and would, I assume, welcome Jones back with loving, open arms.

But barring a Brett Favre/every-rapper-ever wishy-washy comeback saga, Jones will remain retired to hunt and fish and tweet. And he appears to be enjoying the latter...

Which is good news for all of us if he keeps posting pics like this one...

That's a festivus miracle/disaster if I've ever seen one. Sadly, there's been no update on the fate of that ladder.


  1. There's got to be some kind of "southern know how" that he can use in that situation right? Right?

  2. I'm sure there's some kind of camouflaged hacksaw that's cut through deer carcass tougher than a step ladder somewhere in that garage.